Honoring the Past

My heart is heavy

yet light

My heart is sad

yet joyful

My heart is broken

yet whole

My heart is in despair

yet hopeful

My heart is fearful

yet brave

My heart is shy

yet bold

My heart is tearful

yet laughing

My heart honors the past

yet embraces tomorrow

The last few years my life have been stagnant, a pool of muck waiting for the virus to take me away.  A few weeks ago a simple idea ignited a spark that led me to a healing path.  Now I am on a quest to heal my wounds and move bravely into my future.  The most interesting part of the journey thus far?  To go forward I have found myself going back.  I have reconnected with people from my past.  I am seeing history with new eyes and a healing heart.  It is odd that even though I am discovering more mistakes I have made, I am also finding new ways to heal. 

It seems that I have collected hurts over the years.  Some are real, some are my own creation.  And I thought that I had dealt with them.  But there was no healing.

A story from my past comes to mind.  My youngest brother, Matt, split his knee open with a hatchet.  He was taken to the emergency room and it was stitched.  A couple of weeks later my brothers were wrestling around and the knee split open again.  When they took him to the doctor, he said that it was a good thing that it had reopened.  It wasn't healing on the inside, even though it looked like it was healing on the outside. 

Healing has to be from the inside out.  So in my quest of healing, I find myself looking back.  And I know that as I heal I can bravely move into a beautiful future. 

Copyright 2011 Ramblings by Dawn.  All rights reserved.