Ramblings by Dawn

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

A Morning of Moments

Waking Up

A blessed moment

My first sip of coffee, delicious

A pleasant moment

A hug from Alexandra

A heart warming moment

Jayson telling me about t-ball. It seems that Alexandra is the most polite player. She hit the ball. Laid the bat down. Retrieved the ball and put it on the tee for the next batter. And then she ran the bases.

A proud moment

Cuddling with Alexandra and waiting for Isabel to wake

A relaxing moment

The thud and screams of Isabel, she has fallen off the bed.

A terror filled moment

Gingerly picking Isabel up and holding her tight, tears in my eyes.

A fearful moment

Seeing the little swollen nose and red mark on Izzy's sweet face.

A sad moment

The big smile from Izzy that lights the room.

A relieved moment

The giggles of Alex and Izzy.

A thankful moment

Alex kissing Izzy. "Izzy, don't do that again. You made me scared. You are my best friend. I love you."

A tearful moment

A morning walk with the girls.

An inspiring moment

Playing with Izzy

A fun moment

An art project with Alexandra

A patient moment

Chores all done

And all before 10:00 am

An accomplished moment

Alexandra holding Isabel's hand while she napped

A precious moment

If we measured success in moments, then this morning I became the richest woman on earth. Treasure the moments, for they are fleeting. Treasure the moments for they are the memories. Treasure the moments, once gone they will never come back. Treasure the moments.

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Celebrating Chaos

whirling thoughts

flashing images

fragile dreams

fleeting hope

self doubt

rising resolve

budding ideas

anxious fear

painful past

pleasant memories

building passion

dawning desire

points of light

crashing thunder

deafening silence

a driving force

a perfect storm

creativity is born

There are times in my life when everything seems to be out of control. My head spins, my heart beats faster and I want to hide my head under the covers. These moments have been my greatest inspiration, they have given birth to my greatest ideas and they have strengthened my determination. These moments have encouraged and sometimes forced me to be more than I had ever dreamed. These moments have taught me to trust and believe in myself. These moments have given birth to the phoenix within.

Thanks Page.

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

I Walk

i walk

to fight the demons

i walk

to sort my thoughts

i walk

to face my failures

i walk

to find my dreams

i walk

to battle pain

i walk

to conquer fears

i walk

to ease the madness

i walk

to drown the noise

i walk

to lose the baggage

i walk

to heal my heart

i walk

to find myself

i walk...

but one day

I WILL RUN

I recently started walking every day. Every day is a new journey, a new battle, a new discovery. As I walk, my heart and mind do battle. When the weight of my past heartaches and mistakes fill my head and invade my soul, my head bows and I struggle to lift my feet. I fight to lift my head and push on, one step at a time. As I look where I am going, the disappointments of my past roll down my back. And for a brief moment I begin to dream again. I begin to see a different life. I begin to believe in me. And so, I walk.

Monday, September 10, 2012

Awakening

i looked in the mirror

i wasn't there

some other face

an empty stare

the curtains drawn

no passion burns

faded thoughts

of lessons learned

memories scattered

failures loom

is it over

seems too soon

this must change

i am not done

time to live

find the sun

stand up tall

breathe real deep

open my eyes

take the leap

The past couple of weeks I have been experiencing an awakening. I am not sure where I am headed. Don't know what the future holds. But, I do know I have spent too many years existing. Time to fly.

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Learning to Walk...Again

watch your step

one foot in front of the other

one step at a time

when watching your feet

though you keep moving

there is no telling where you will end up

lose your focus

lose your dreams

lose your balance

look up

shoulders back

push forward

learn to walk

again

I walked a trail with a friend this week. Well, not the whole trail, but part of it. She encouraged me to push my shoulders back and suck in my gut. She told me to look up and taught me how to breathe. Look up and breathe. Things I had forgotten. I struggled with looking forward while walking. I was afraid of losing my balance and falling. I had to be reminded a few times to look up. Amazingly enough when I quit looking down, kept my eyes forward my balance started improving. Who knew that watching your feet actually makes it harder to balance.

The breathing, well that was more difficult to master. In fact, I am still practicing that. I am finding that breathing correctly I feel better and think more clearly. Breathing the wrong way makes me feel like I am suffocating.

Along the trail were several hills. The first couple, I thought I would die or stumble and roll back down them. As we walked the trail the hills were steeper and longer. I discovered that they didn't seem quite so bad when I looked up, focused ahead and kept breathing.

As I figured out how to keep my shoulders back, suck in my gut, look up and breathe all at the same time I was rewarded with a flood of positive energy and beautiful views of the world I live in.

Thanks to my friend...I am learning to walk again.

Sunday, September 2, 2012

Beyond the Fence

through the trenches

up the hill

over the obstacles

face the fears

change the world

reach out your hand

take a trip

climb a mountain

sail the ocean

learn something new

make new friends

help those in need

find your bliss

nourish your soul

exceed the limits

reach your potential

sing

dance

love

live

the sky's the limit

beyond the fence

Every morning Drakke(the dog) and I go out the back door to greet the day. Drakke stands at the top of the stairs and looks over the fence. When he spots the neighbors dogs, he rushes down the stairs to the fence and barks. After the barking he travels around the yard next to the fence. He chases the rabbit that has slipped in under the gate. He crouches down looking under the gate longingly. He then goes around the yard again, stopping now and then to crouch down and peek under the fence. Back to the top of the stairs, he goes. He stands looking out over the fence in all directions. After a couple of minutes he goes back inside, crawls under his blanket to dream of life beyond the fence.

The saddest part of this story...I am right there watching him. In a sense, I am doing the very same thing. I grow weary of dreaming of life beyond the fence. Now if I could just remember which box I stuffed my courage in.

Sunday, May 13, 2012

As a mother...

I have learned patience

known overflowing joy

gained wisdom

cried many tears

As a mother...

I discover new perspectives

learn new talents

travel more roads

reflect more often

As a mother...

I understand forgiveness

believe in unconditional love

hope for a better world

and strive to be better every day

As a mother...

I understand consequences

value hard work

accept change

and cherish every moment

As a mother...

I am thankful for my children

They bring out the best in me

Today as I reflect on Mother's Day, I want to say thank you to my children, Marc Josef, Jayson Jeffry, Jaimee' Dawn and Kaycee JoAn. Being your mother is the greatest challenge I have ever faced, the greatest gift I have ever received, and the greatest honor I have ever known. I love each and everyone of you.

To Susan, I am so thankful that Jayson chose you to share his life. You are a wonderful wife to my son. You are an incredible mother to my granddaughter. I love you as my own.

To Alexandra, you bring me joy each and every day. I love you.

To all who wandered into my home and called me mom, thank you for letting me be a part of your life. And know that you have touched my heart.

To all the mom's, as we celebrate Mother's Day, let us count our blessings, for they are many.

Happy Mother's Day!!