Saturday, April 30, 2011

A Hand

I am thankful for the hand
That reaches out when down
I am thankful for the hand
That spreads kindness all around

I am thankful for the hand
That has a healing touch
I am thankful for the hand
That repairs my heart so much

Though my hand is rough
Has seen its better days
I offer it to you
To help along the way

 During my life's journey I have had so many ups and downs.  I have made mistakes.  I have had dissappointments.  I have heartache.  The biggest mistake I have ever made was not taking hold of the kind hands that reached out to me.  Thankfully they remained steady, kept reaching out.  I would not be where I am today if not for the outreached hand.

Now is my time to pay it forward.  So I reach out my hand to you.

Copyright 2011 Ramblings by Dawn.  All rights reserved.

Friday, April 29, 2011

Laughter and Tears

Laughing through the tears
Crying behind the smile
I know that I am healing
I know it takes awhile

But knowing what to do
Before I reach that goal
Is often quite a struggle
And often takes it's toll

The battle makes me weary
Often I feel drained
But I keep moving forward
Fighting to be unchained

So I will keep on crying
Collecting all my tears
And I will keep on laughing
Dispelling all my fears

For there will come a day
About my tears I'm asked
I will simply smile and say
That is just my past

The path to healing is the most difficult path I walk.  There are no maps, no guides not even a compass.  I am the only one who has ever walked this particular path.  And though I have walked it before as my life, I find roadblocks all along the way.  Sometimes I find things along the path that I have hidden so well that I have forgotten they were there.  At times I have attempted to alter the path to avoid the shadows, let alone the wounds of particular events.  Some days the task before me looms over my soul.  All I want to do is stop where I am and call it good.

But I am determined to keep moving.  I want to know what whole feels like.  It is my desire to know a peace within me that cannot be shaken.  I want to experience a life free of shadows.  I want to step into the warmth of the sun.  I want to heal.  And so I go on.

Copyright 2011 Ramblings by Dawn.  All rights reserved.

Thursday, April 28, 2011


Out of whack
Out of time
Out of sorts
Out of my mind
Out of my wits
Out of line
Out of control
Out of sight
Out of tune
Out of practice
Out of work
Out of the box
Out of the question
Out of the cold
Out of money
Out of patience
Out of coffee
Out of milk
Out of fashion
Out of shape
Out of place
Out on a limb
Out in left field
Out of the closet
Out of proportion
Out of bounds
Out of step
Out of character
Out of circulation
Out of gas
Out of luck
Out of reach
Out of order
Out of date
Out of season
Out of service
Out of pocket
Out of touch
Out of breath
Out of my league
Out of my way

Now to go all out
Figure out
Clean out
Find out
Get the lead out
Throw out
Rise out
Turn out
Look out
Think out
Weed out
Work out
Take out
Stick it out

Or maybe sit it out
Get kicked out
Slip out
Ship out
Weasel out
Strike out
Fall out
Chicken out
Check out
Bug out
Back out
Act out

Now i am tuckered out
Down and out
Fresh out
Forced out
Far out
Causing fall out
Burned out
Zonked out

So I say...

I'm out

Any given moment of any given day, I am out of something.  I spend so much time out that I don't know what it means to be in.  And I am not the only one.  I often hear people say they are out of any number of things.  So if we are all out, does that mean we are all in?

Should I be striving, fighting, struggling to be in?  What is so great about being in?  Who determined that in is better than out?  If I am in, do I have to stay in?  What if I want to go out?  What if I get in and don't like it?  What if in is not me? 

Perhaps it is time to break out of the mold.  Perhaps it is time to be out.  If I accepted that out is right for me, would I still be out of my mind?  Something to think about.

Peace out.

Copyright 2011 Ramblings by Dawn.  All rights reserved.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

What's In A Name

We're given a name
And guidelines to life
Taught about joy
Taught about strife

Then comes the day
We're out on our own
Bombarded with life
To face all alone

The colors we choose
The life that we lead
Is by our design
Fail or succeed

Today was a party art day.  Alexandra, Marc, Kaycee and Marie all joined in the fun.  It was interesting to watch as each of them started with the outline of their name and created a work of art.  All were very different and unique. 

As a mother I gave my children names.  I taught them life lessons to the best of my ability.  Along the way I made some mistakes.  Now it is up to them.  What their life looks like is of their own creation.  As much as I would like to have more influence, I have done my job.  It is their life.  It is their masterpiece. 

What does your masterpiece look like?

Copyright 2011 Ramblings by Dawn.  All rights reserved.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

To Be a Giraffe

If i could be just like a giraffe
Oh the things within my grasp

If i had a long thick neck
Oh the things that i could get

If I stuck my neck out
If I took a chance
The things that I could see
With just a passing glance

If i stood so grand and tall
I could simply reach it all

Have you ever let an opportunity go by because of the risk it involved?  Have you ever let a budding friendship wane because your heart was fearful?  Ever have a dream that you didn't pursue because you were convinced it was beyond your reach?  Do you play the "if only" game because you didn't take a chance on something?  Wouldn't it be great to be a giraffe?

A giraffe doesn't consider the risks of reaching for the top branch, he simply reaches.  A giraffe doesn't let fear paralyze him, he just reaches.  A giraffe has no fear of sticking his neck out.  He just does it.  Imagine how far you could see if you were a giraffe.  Imagine what you could reach.

Today I'd like to take a chance.  Today I'd like to see beyond my fears.  Today I'd like to be a giraffe.

Copyright 2011 Ramblings by Dawn.  All rights reserved.

Monday, April 25, 2011

A Horse Of A Different Color

A horse of a different color
I am not the same
There is some resemblance
I carry the same name

I don't fit the mold
I think a different way
And yet I still belong
Each and every day

I walk a different path
Which changes as I go
I want to change the world
I want so much to grow

I see through my own eyes
And see through their eyes too
Which filters through my mind
And creates a different view

We are much alike
But I am my own author
This simply makes my life
A horse of a different color

Sometimes when I look at the circles that I am a part of I wonder why things look so different to me.  And yet some things are enough alike to still be a part of the circle.  When I look at my family of origin, I see the similarities and the differences.  When I look at my children, I see how we are alike and yet we all have different interpretations of life.  When I consider my friends, we see some things the same and some things opposite.

Is it really so bad to be different?  Would I really want to be a part of a world where everyone is the same?  The beauty of life is often in our differences.  How would I grow if we were all the same?  How would I become more if there was only one view?  If we all made paper, who would make pens?  Who would write books?  Who would read them? 

Aren't we all a horse of a different color?

Copyright 2011 Ramblings by Dawn.  All rights reserved.

Sunday, April 24, 2011

My Easter Parade

Easter parades before my eyes
Memories from all the days gone by

Hunting for eggs in pajamas
Grass on the floor
And in my basket
Donning a dress
Shiny new shoes
A little white purse
My hair in curls

The years marched on
I became a mom

Hiding the eggs
Before the dawn
Waking the children
Watching them search
Dressing them up
And off to church

My babies
My babies
Where have they gone
I turned around and they were grown

Easter always reminds me of time passing.  When my children were small, easter meant filling baskets, cooking dinner, hiding eggs, making easter outfits and, of course, pictures.  I would spend two weeks preparing for easter; buying baskets and candy, filling the candy eggs, counting as I went.  I always wanted to make sure they all had the same amount.  During those two weeks, I would be up late every night sewing or crocheting their outfits.  As they got older they nixed the matching outfits, but I still remember parading around with my beautiful children all dressed alike.  I remember going to the mall for pictures.  People would stop and watch us walk by.  The more they smiled, the taller I walked.

There are some things I just don't like to let go.  I continued to hide easter eggs until they were all out of high school.  Every child was assigned a specific color of egg.  They all had the same number of eggs and pieces of candy.  I would hide the eggs and call the children.  Every year one egg would disappear.  It was a different child's egg every year, but without fail, one would be lost.  You would think that I would know where I had hidden all the eggs minutes before.  Alas, one egg was always lost. 

Although I no longer hide eggs for my kids, I still give them easter baskets every year.  I just don't want to let go.  Handing them the basket every year reminds me of all the years when they were small.  When I hand them the basket I see them one more time in their bright colored sweaters.  I am reminded one more time of the greatest gifts I have ever received. 

This year the parade marches on.  This year I will watch my son hide the eggs.  I will watch my granddaughter search.  And I will watch her discover the glory of plastic eggs with treasures inside.  Today I will see the traditions passed on.  Today I am thankful for my Easter Parade.

Copyright 2011 Ramblings by Dawn.  All rights reserved.

Saturday, April 23, 2011

A Thimble Of My Thoughts

A thimble holds a memory
A moment of my past

A thimble holds a story
That in my heart will last

A thimble marks my life
Good things along the way

A thimble holds my joy
A beautiful bouquet

A thimble holds my heritage
A picture of my history

A thimble offers comfort
In a very special way

My thimbles mark my journey
The life that I have had

My thimbles help me remember
That things are not so bad

Let's consider the capacity of a thimble.  A thimble is small indeed.  It fits on the end of your finger.  You can carry it in your pocket, throw it in a box and lose it in the shuffle.  If you see the thimble as a moment in your life, how many would you have?  How many will you collect today?

On the flipside, a thimble can hold an immeasurable amount.  When I hold a thimble in my hand, memories come flooding back into my heart and mind.  I have a thimble that belonged to my great grandmother.  When I hold the thimble, I remember all the time we shared together.  I remember all of her stories.  I remember her incredible stamina and grace.  I remember my rich heritage.

I have a thimble from Sea World in San Antonio.  When I hold it in my hand, I remember the only vacation my kids and I had.  I remember all the great things we saw, the smiles and the laughter.  I remember visiting my grandparents and my uncle's and aunt's.  I remember counting out skittles into baggies so each child had the same amount.  I remember packing and repacking them.  I remember the music that I played on the trip (and so do my children). 

I have a thimble from a monopoly game that reminds me of game nights when I was a child.  It also reminds me of game nights with my children;  the laughter, the competition, the camraderie. 

So as the world struggles and the economy worsens, I turn to my thimbles.  This moment, this struggle, is another thimble in my life.  It seems big right now, but in the grand scheme of things, it is only a thimble.

Copyright 2011 Ramblings by Dawn.  All rights reserved.

Friday, April 22, 2011

The Heavy Heart

Today my heart seems heavy
With tears I cannot cry
There's no earthly reason
For my heavy sighs

My mind keeps on reviewing
Things that I have lost
And so I sit here counting
Adding up the cost

Living in the shadows
Of my heavy heart
Searching every corner
For the missing part

The one I've been protecting
Trying to conceal
For when it sees the light
Then finally I can heal

A heavy heart, do you know what I mean?  It is not a bad day.  It is not because it's raining.  It's more than that.  Your life is fine.  Everything is moving along.  You are getting things done.  You're moving forward towards your goals.  And then BAM, you are plunged into a dark, oppresive place.  A place that is smothering, like being caught in twisted blankets.  The more you struggle, the more tangled you become. 

When you finally quit struggling, you realize the heaviness, the overwhelming sorry is coming from inside of you.  Because the sadness is so profound you start looking for the trigger.  What could possibly have happened to cause this downward plunge?  While you are searching, your mind keeps flashing back to a simple phrase from a conversation, or the smallest glimpse of a simple act.  You keep dismissing the small things.  You keep searching for something significant that has happened to cause this slide into oblivion. 

And then you realize, it is the flash, it is the glimpse that has put you on this ledge.  It is the little things that have touched a part of your heart that has been locked away, pushed aside, buried deep in the recesses of your soul. 

It is time to expose this part of your heart to the light.  It is time to walk through the pain.  It is time to let the tears fall.  It is time to let healing flood this part of your soul.

Copyright 2011 Ramblings by Dawn.  All rights reserved.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Measuring Up

Looking deep inside myself
Searching wall to wall

Do I dare stand tall?

Looking at my heart
Checking all the corners

Do I love enough?

Looking at my hands
Studying all the lines

Are they strong and kind?

Examining my feet
Questioning their might

Can they carry light?

Challenging my shoulders
Living with the strain

Can they bear the pain?

Looking through my eyes
All the faces that I see

Do they measure me?

I often struggle when it comes to measuring my value.  When I look at what others have accomplished, I fall short.  When I look at how others show kindness, I see myself as harsh.  When I look at other mothers, I wish that I could be like that.  When I look at others' relationships, I am convinced that my heart is made of stone.  When I look at others' successes, I become a failure.

It is hard to measure your value if you compare yourself to others.  I find it is more beneficial to measure who I am today against who I was yesterday.  If I am better today than I was yesterday, then I am successful.  I have to measure my life based on me.  To measure any other way, is a recipe for disaster. 

I have to live for me.  I have to be thankful for today.  I have to be the best that I can be today.

Copyright 2011 Ramblings by Dawn.  All rights reserved.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

A Puppet On A String

I grow weary
Like a puppet
On a string

Pulled in all directions

By things I can't control

Actions predetermined

I am so exhausted
Like the puppet
On a string

Emotions running rampant

Bombarded every day

Pushed the wrong direction

I'm becoming listless
Like the puppet
On the string

Waiting for directions

From the puppet master

Feeling my impatience



It's time

To cut

The strings


Copyright 2011 Ramblings by Dawn.  All rights reserved.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

A New View

Out on a limb
Tried something new
Reaching new heights
Enjoying the view

Not looking back
Not looking down
Just hanging on
And looking around

Releasing the past
As the sun sets
Shedding a tear
Dismissing regrets

Take a deep breath
Watch the sun rise
Face the new day
With hope in my eyes

Taking a step outside my comfort zone is frightening.  I want things to be different. And yet, I still hesitate and struggle with trying something new.  What is most frightening?  Hard to say.  Sometimes I am convinced I will fail.  Sometimes I fear the judgement of others.  Sometimes I am unsure of the results.  What if I don't like the change?  Then what?

As you can see, I finished my painting.  I tried new techniques, new brushes and a new concept.  I even went way outside my norm by choosing yellow as a background.  You see, I hardly ever use yellow.  I have a collection of yellow paint left from all the sets I have bought over the years.  I use every other color until they are gone.  Yellow remains in the box.  Well, yellow is out of the box.  And I like the results.  It seems to be the perfect choice.

Curious that the one thing I usually avoid became the perfect choice.  Life is much like that.  We avoid certain things that end up being exactly what we need.  We surround ourselves with what we know.  Refusing to let anything new touch our hearts.  Shutting off our soul from the one spark that can give us the new life we desire. 

Go out on a limb.  Take a chance.  Let yellow out of the box.  It is a wonderful view.

Copyright 2011 Ramblings by Dawn.  All rights reserved.

Monday, April 18, 2011

A Different Stroke

A different stroke
A different brush
A different color
A different look

A new perspective
A new approach
A new technique
A new result

Unique desire
Unique view
Unique heart
Unique you

A slower pace
A higher cliff
An open heart
A broader view

This life is yours
So take a look
Then take a chance
And find your nook

Things are the way they are.  That is the way they have always been.  I have always been this way.  All phrases we have heard so often.  And all phrases we have uttered.  And we wonder why we don't change.  We wonder why life doesn't get better.  We wonder why we feel stuck.  We wonder why we don't heal.

It is time for something else.  Just because this is where we are, does not mean it is where we always have to be.  If what has always been doesn't work, time for a change.

In the past I would paint an entire painting with one brush.  I would choose my colors and take off.  I would finish the painting in one sitting.  I have been working on my current painting for several days now.  As you can see it is still not finished.  But I am learning so much.  I am using several different brushes.  I am trying new techniques.  I am experimenting with different colors.  Each day as I approach the painting I see it differently.

This is so much like my life.  It is a mirror image of my healing path.  By slowing down and trying different things I am creating something unique and extraordinary.  Each day is a new adventure.  Getting out of bed each day is a pleasure instead of a chore.  Each night I lay down a better person than I was that morning.

Don't like where you are?  Not fond of what you see in the mirror?  Tired of feeling stuck?  Want an extraordinary life? 

Try a different stroke.

Copyright 2011 Ramblings by Dawn.  All rights reserved.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

I Want It Now

There is no magic genie
No waving of a wand
No snapping of the fingers
No mystic from beyond

This isn't instant oatmeal
Or  pastry from a box
It's not a frozen dinner
No response to clocks

I can cry
I can scream
Throw a fit
And stomp my feet

Healing is a process
Just takes time you see
So take a calming breath
For what will be
Will be

Ever have a dream that is so intense that you can almost reach out and touch it?  Almost taste it.  Ever want to make a change so desperately that it is a burning fire within you?  But you get lost in the smoke.  Ever wake up in the morning convinced that things were different?  But they were exactly the same.

In this world of instant gratification, so many dreams and desires die within us.  We want something different.  And we want it right now.  We expect to get rich overnight.  We expect to have a perfect body overnight.  We expect to have a perfect life overnight.  We expect change overnight.

The reality is, it doesn't work that way.  We have to work at it.  We have to practice patience.  We have to walk the path before us.  We have to persevere.  As my grandfather says, "Anything worth having is worth waiting for".   

My son and I both paint.  He uses oil paints.  I use acrylics.  He spends several days perfecting a painting.  I spend several minutes.  He creates a masterpiece.  I create a painting. 

It is time for me to stoke the fire of my dreams.  It is time to realize that I am worth it.  It is time to work everyday towards the desires of my heart.  It is time to heal.  It is time to change my mantra from "I want it now" to "I want it enough".

Copyright 2011 Ramblings by Dawn.  All rights reserved. 

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Simply do the First

The first word written
The first line drawn
The first color chosen
The first seam sewn

The first foot out of bed
The first step of a trip
The first seed planted
The first word's past my lips

No novel will be written
No drawing will be seen
No canvas will be covered
No chance to intervene

No work will be completed
No garden will be grown
No countries will be toured
No garment will be worn

Until I have the courage
Unless I find the strength
To trust myself enough
To simply do the first...

When I woke up this morning, the house was so very cold.  And my bed was so very warm.  So I pulled the covers over my head.  As I lay there in between dream and consciousness, the list of things to do today started swimming in my head.  So I bravely threw the covers back and started the day.  Then I quickly put on the warmest clothes I could find.  Stumbled down the hall to turn on the computer and start the coffee. 

For some reason I am struggling today.  I sat in front of the empty computer screen for ten minutes searching for the first word, the first line.  How ironic, don't you think?  I know that my heaviness, my hesitation is because of fear. I feel like I am on the brink of a new phase in my life.  And while I am very excited,  I am also scared beyond belief.  To take the first step blindly is to take a chance of failing.  Why do I always assume I will fail?  There are many things I have done successfully.

Taking that first step implies a commitment to change.  Making a commitment means realizing you are as likely to sink as you are to swim.  You are as likely to fall as you are to fly.  The curious thing is, sometimes I think I have as much trepidation of swimming, flying and succeeding as I do of failing.  The unknown, regardless of the outcome, can be paralyzing.  I cannot let my fear impede my progress.  What lies ahead may very well be the best time in my life.

Today I pray for the courage to take the first steps. 

Copyright 2011 Ramblings by Dawn.  All rights reserved.

Friday, April 15, 2011

Reaching for the Tools

A writer opens her computer
An artist takes her brush
A carpenter picks up his hammer
A chef turns on the stove
A garderner prepares the soil
A seamstress threads the needle

Me... I open up my heart

A writer composes with words
An artist applies the paint
A carpenter builds with wood
A chef designs with food
A gardener requires seeds
A seamstress must have cloth

Me...I create with love

We all have the ability to be something special.  We all have the ability to create.  We all have the tools to contribute to the world around us.  It saddens me when I hear someone say they are not creative, that they are just an average person.  Each of us hold a unique view of the world.  Each of us have something to contribute.

You don't agree?  Then let me ask you?  Are you a mother, a father, an uncle, an aunt, a sister, a brother, a friend?  Can you smile, give a good hug?  Can you listen?  Can you laugh?  Can you cry with a friend?  Can you write a note?  Can you hold a child?  Can you offer kindness?  Can you reach out your hand?

Then you, my friend, are an artist.  Let the painting begin.

Copyright 2011 Ramblings by Dawn.  All rights reserved.

Thursday, April 14, 2011


I have a great idea
Started as a whim
A little inspiration
Blowing in the wind

I have a a great idea
Flashing through my mind
Lurking in the shadows
A little undefined

I have a great idea
Lingering on my brow
Beginning to develop
Becoming clearer now

I have a great idea
Right before my eyes
Time to get it started
Before the idea dies

Through the years I have had many ideas, some have even been epiphanies.  The tragedy, getting so caught up in the mundane of everyday that they go away.  Looking back I often ponder what might have been if I had followed through on an idea.  Even the small ideas have the potential of changing my life and those around me.

The challenge becomes hanging onto the ideas long enough to see them through.  It seems that I have many of these ideas when I am running errands, driving in the car, in the middle of a conversation or rushing to get something done.  It is not that I don't have the time to follow through.  It is that I can't do it immediately.  So how do I hang onto my thoughts?  IDEA!!!  Write them down.  So I recently started carrying a journal and a pen with me.  Now I can capture my great ideas.

As I look back over my ideas I sometimes find ones that don't make sense.  I have discovered that often these ideas are just not completely formed yet.  I need more time, information or input for them to become a full fledged, life changing idea.  It is a treasure chest of magic.

Hang on to your ideas.  No idea is stupid.  No idea too simple.  They just may need time to develop.

Copyright 2011 Ramblings by Dawn.  All rights reserved.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Molding a Masterpiece

Molding a creation
Takes a little clay
A little imagination
And desire to play

The molding of my life
Is simply just the same
Taking all the strife
the tears and all the pain

Adding in the memories
the hope that's in my heart
The dreams that live in me
Create a work of art

Molding my creation
Takes a little time
My imagination
On a journey that's divine

Today I see my life as a masterpiece in progress.  I have created what I am today.  The path that I have walked.  The choices I have made.  The people that I love.  The friends that I have chosen.  All of these things have determined who I am today.  Along the way there have been things that have happened that were out of my control.  And yes they have added to my masterpiece.  How prominent they are is completely up to me. 

One of the beauties of creating, is I can change it if I don't like it.  Change comes in many forms.  If there is something in my life that isn't working I can take it out.  If it isn't working the way I think it should, I can add to the creation.  Sometimes adding another color changes what already exists.  Sometimes I just need to change the shape or the depth of color. 

The important thing for me to remember is what my life is today is only the canvas for tomorrow. 

What does your masterpiece look like?

Tuesday, April 12, 2011


Potential can't be measured
With a simple glance
No telling what is possible
If given half a chance

Latent gifts
In me abide
That I hide

Hoping, Praying
For the day
They're invited
Out to Play

There is potential
In your heart
Simply waiting
To be a part

What lies in you
What lies in me
Creates a sight
The world should see

So if your willing
Take my hand
And together
We will stand

Together let us
Run this race
And make this world
A better place

Potential is an untapped resource in many of us.  Too often we judge the people around us and ourselves based on looks, words on a paper, words of others or history.  What we don't always realize is potential can't be seen or measured by conventional methods.  Sometimes you don't realize your own potential or the potential of those around you until you are knee deep in a new situation.  Often times we let our past cloud the beauty of the possibilities that lie within us.  We perceive ourselves as broken or shattered. 

As you can see in the picture above each of the pieces of glass are unique and beautiful.  These pieces of glass are destined to be broken.  They are going to become a part of several different mosaic projects.  By being broken and combined with the pieces of others unique creations exist.  The pieces are put together in a way that can never be duplicated.

So if you are broken, it is time to grasp hope.  Now you can become an important part of something the world has never seen. 

Copyright 2011 Ramblings by Dawn.  All rights reserved.