Ramblings by Dawn: June 2011

Thursday, June 30, 2011

Beauty In The Darkness

Beauty in the darkness

Although the day seems bleak

With just a bit of light

I see life's strange mystique

Coolness in the waves

That beat upon the shore

Something almost comforting

And silence in their roar

And though the sand keeps shifting

The path seems somewhat firm

Building on the memories

And lessons that were learned

Thankful for this moment

Thankful for this view

Hope lighting the future

And I'm just passing through

Sometimes we are so overwhelmed by the darkness that we fail to see the beauty of it. Darkness offers a chance to re-evaluate, sort out and decide without all of the distractions we see in the light. Sometimes our darkest times bring our most significant lessons. Find comfort in the darkness.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Enchanted Forest

Living in a forest
It's hard to see the sun
Everything looks tangled
Webs of confusion spun

Living in a forest
Direction is unknown
For the paths are covered
And things are overgrown

Living in a forest
Silence becomes deafening
Darkness all consuming
Awaiting the day of reckoning

Living in a forest
Struggling to get out
Looking for a compass
Taking a new route

But living in a forest
Need not be troublesome
For whimsy weaves it's golden tail
To chase away the glum
Living in a forest
Offers treasures yet unseen
Adventures to experience
Lessons to be gleaned

Sometimes we get lost in our own little world. We get so tangled in our own mental anguish that our realities get distorted. It is time for enchantment.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Amidst the Chaos

Standing amidst the chaos

That some would call my life

Things I can't control

Some of my own device

Standing amidst the chaos

Looking for the piece

The one that gives me reason

The one that gives me peace

Standing amidst the chaos

Seeing the destruction

And yet amidst the tremors

Behold new construction

Standing amidst the chaos

Flying about my head

I should be discouraged

But I see hope instead

Standing amidst the chaos

Changes in the air

So I take this moment

To ponder and prepare

Sometimes life moves merrily along. And without warning something happens that throws a wrench in the works. Chaos reigns. The difficult part of chaos, not making it worse with my reactions. Chaos encourages opportunities, a simple change of course, an introduction to more knowledge or a new seed of wisdom. Learning to ride the waves of chaos allows me to see all the possibilities before me. It allows me to appreciate those things that I have missed. So I am learning to embrace the chaos. While working towards the peace my soul desires. I am looking for the lessons that this chaos has for me. And I am preparing to let go of the chaos. I am preparing to embrace the peace and love that my heart and soul are thirsting for.

Monday, June 27, 2011

Angles

Looking at all the angles

Searching for what's right

Changing my direction

Finding a new light

Hoping for some insight

Some guidance along the way

I am growing weary

Of letting come what may

Time to make some choices

Time to take a stand

This life that I am living

Is not the one I planned

Though my life has color

And stories I could tell

I want to make a difference

I want to live life well

As I go along in life, I make choices that determine the path of my life for awhile. And then abruptly, it is no longer where I belong. I am not always sure what changed or why it changed. I just know, time for a change. I feel the change coming from my very soul. And while some things I have no control over, I still have a say in my reactions and my decisions. Time to start a realignment process. Time to try a new angle. How long will the new direction last? That cannot be determined. But I will be moving forward and no longer waiting as life passes me by.

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Blowing In The Wind

They say the answer is blowing in the wind

Well I have been twisting in the wind

Occasionally I get wind of the answer

And then it is gone with the wind

Sometimes I don't know which way the wind blows

Sometimes an ill wind makes me run like the wind

Sometimes I am fighting against the wind

Sometimes I am between wind and water

Some things take the wind out of my sails

Sometimes I throw caution to the wind

Sometimes I just whistle in the wind

But I know there is something in the wind

And when I get my second wind

I will once again be in the wind

I don't have all of life's answers. But I know that life, like the wind continues to blow. And the answers are in the living. So off I go to discover more answers. Care to join me?

Saturday, June 25, 2011

The Web

A web of choices
A web of voices

A web of decisions
A web of visions

A web of memories
A web of enemies

A web of trends
A web of friends

A web of things I've fought
A web of my own thoughts

A web of words
A web of the unheard

A web of feeling
A web of healing

A web of strife
This is my life

I have moments in my life when I feel like I am fighting my way out of a web of chaos. Some of the chaos I can't control. However, I have come to realize that much of my chaos I have created. Some of the things that I fight against are a direct result of my own choices, or my stubborn determination to not make a choice. Sometimes by trying to avoid choosing I have, in fact, made my choice.

The big question, how do I get out of this web? I know that I am tired of fighting. I am tired of wrestling with all my thoughts in my dreams. I am tired of feeling trapped. Consequently, I think that I will try to sit quietly and observe my life from outside the chaos. Perhaps if I quit fighting so hard, some of the web will just fall away. We shall see.

Friday, June 24, 2011

The Door To My Heart

The door to my heart

Was tattered and torn

The windows were broken

The hinges were worn

The time has come

To do some repairs

Replace the windows

Mend the tears

The time has come
To oil the hinges

Fix the windows

Sand the ledges

And then I'll add

Some brand new colors

Maybe even

Make it taller

Prop it open

Invite you in

Let my love

Be new again

Sometimes when I open my heart to others, I become tattered and worn. Sometimes opening the door allows pain and disappointment to saturate my heart. After awhile I close and lock the door. I am afraid to open the door to anyone else. The door to my heart becomes weathered and is difficult to open.

To avoid bitterness and indifference taking over my life I have to let go of the hurts and disappointments of my past. I have to allow healing to repair the door to my heart. I have to let the wonderful colors of new experiences paint my heart's door. It is time to revive my heart, and let love be new again.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Dreaming

Dreaming...

Sunshiny days

Trees to climb

Flowers to pick

Puppies to chase

Dreaming...

Adventures ahead

Games to play

Places to go

Things to see

Dreaming...

Mountains to climb

Rivers to cross

Caves to explore

Paths to follow

Dreaming...

A better day

A better life

A better time

A better world

Dreaming...

Dreams...the driving force in many of us. If you dream it, you can do it. Dreams are the hopes we hold in our heart. All of our conveniences, all of our medical advances, all of our adventures were once dreams. Dreams are vital to our well being. In order for dreams to come true we must act.

My dream is to touch the lives of those around me. My dream is to spread a little love wherever I go. My dream is to help heal the world. What will I do today to make my dreams come true?

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

The Tie-Dyed Heart

One day my heart

Was tied in knots

Twisted tight

And all bunched up

Then a friend

Gave me a call

We talked and laughed

About nothing at all

They offered kindness

And understanding

A little love

Were not demanding

The knots began

To melt away

All my troubles

Now at bay

Now I have

A tie-dyed heart

Thanks to love

A work of art

What an incredible experience to tie-dye with a child almost two years old. We had a wonderful time. I am not sure whether Alex or the shirt has more dye on it. As we were working on the project I was thinking about how simple moments like this add color to our lives. No rhyme or reason to the pattern, and yet a beautiful finished project. We don't always have control over what life throws at us. But, we do have control over how we deal with it. Whatever comes, may it add color to our lives.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Love-a-lot

If I lived in Care-A-Lot

I would be a bear

I think that I'd be Love-a-lot

Then my heart I'd share

I'd wear my heart on my shirt

For all the world to see

I'd dispel all those that hurt

And set the sad hearts free

My message would be simple

Let others see your heart

People would just giggle

And think I'm really smart

Fundamental lesson

Childlike to it's core

The answer to love's question

Is simply to explore

Love without condition

Have no expectations

Release all your suspicion

Exercise your patience

Love as your ambition

Love just like a child

Have no inhibitions

Let your heart run wild

When do we learn about tough love? When do we learn that love hurts? When do we learn that love means sacrifice? Wouldn't it be great if we could clean out our heart? Wouldn't it be wonderful to love freely and unconditionally like a child? Love is love after all.

Monday, June 20, 2011

What's In Your Cup

Cup of coffee

Cup of tea

Cup of sugar

Cup of me

Cup of joy

Cup of sad

Cup of love

Cup of bad

Cup of regrets

Cup of success

Cup of the worst

Cup of the best

Cup that's empty

Cup that's full

Cup that's cracked

Cup overflows

Cup of peace

Cup of tears

Cup of wisdom

Cup of years

I have one cup

Unlike the rest

So I deserve

The very best

Each life unique. Every one looks different. And the experiences that we have fill our lives. We must filter out the "grounds". The rest stays in our cup. What are you allowing to fill your cup?

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Daddy's Hands

They surround you

When you're small

They pick you up

When you fall

They hold you close

When it storms

When it's cold

They keep you warm

They steady you

As you learn to walk

They applaud you

As you learn to talk

They direct you

As you grow

They teach you how

To climb and throw

They fix the things

That you break

They teach you how

To give and take

They gently guide you

As you grow

Show you things

That you should know

When things don't go

As you planned

Just reach out

Hold daddy's hand

I have the privilege of being the daughter of the finest man I have ever known. He is my gentle giant. When he walks in his presence fills the room. Though he is a tall man it is not his stature that is most astounding. It is his heart. He is gentle and kind. He is understanding and compassionate. He reaches out to those around him. Protects those he loves. Stands firm in his convictions. He is a good man. And he is a great father. My daddy, my hero.

Happy Father's Day daddy. I love you.

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Break

When I reach a breaking point

It's time to break away

When I feel like breaking down

It's time to make a break for it

When I feel like breaking up

Better to break free

When my day seems so very long

Time to take a break

When a task seems to overwhelm

Time to break it up

I'm not superman

I don't wear a cape

Time to give myself a break

Today I woke up just wanting to have a different kind of day. I thought about all the things I should be doing. I thought about my normal routine. But I just was not feeling it. So today I gave myself a break. I changed my day around. I did some things I wanted to do. I accomplished a few things that were on the have to do list. I spent some time with friends. I met some new friends. Need a break, take one.

Friday, June 17, 2011

Flashback

Blinding my sight

Flashback

It lights the night

Flashback

Pierces my heart

Flashback

Gives me a start

Flashback

Brings back the pain

Flashback

Befuddles my brain

Flashback

I start to fall

Flashback

Mistakes recalled

Flashback

A stumblng block

Flashback

Turns back the clock

Flashback

Truth revealed

Flashback

I need to heal

As a part of my healing journey I have been trying to be open to the hurts from my past. I want to get past all of mistakes, all my poor choices and all the wrongs I have been holding in my heart. It sounds like a good idea right? Until the flashbacks start in my dreams. Much like watching a bad movie. And with each flash I feel the pain as if it was yesterday. Needless to say, it makes for a sleepless night. With each flash I feeel exposed. With each flash I feel small. With each flash I feel worthless. With each flash I wish I had not let it go so long. With each flash I pray for relief. With each flash I shed more tears. Time for the flashes to stop. Time to let go of the past. Time to heal.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Welcome

I believe in love

I believe in an open heart

I believe in compassion

I believe in second chances

I believe in kindness

I believe in grace

I believe in trust

I believe in forgiveness

I believe in patience

I believe in hope

I believe in compromise

I believe in understanding

My heart my gift

Wears a welcome sign

Not a welcome mat

To be trod upon

Treat it as such

I will walk away

All too often people misinterpret love. Just because you love someone does not give them a license to walk all over you or your heart. Yes there will be times that loving someone causes pain. If both of you grow through the pain then good things follow. However, if someone takes advantage of your love, if they keep trambling on your heart then time to walk away. If someone does something totally disregarding your heart and your feelings then time to walk away. At times walking away benefits them and your heart the most. Walking away though difficult and painful protects your heart from severe damage. Best to walk away and live to love another day.

Does your heart wear a welcome sign? Does your heart have a welcome mat? Guard your heart it holds the best of you.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Capturing a Moment

A moment in time

Merely a glance
This moment in time

Could be your chance

You can take pictures

And buy souveniers

To remember this moment

All through the years

Hold onto this moment

It may be the one

Once this moment passes
It can't be undone

So capture this moment

It goes by so fast

Treasure it now

It could be your last

Today as I look back over my life, I am saddened. How many moments have I allowed to slip by, not realizing their importance? How many opportunities have I missed by not living in the moment? Sometimes I get so caught up in the struggle of today, the pains of yesterday or the uncertainty of tomorrow that I miss the treasures of this very moment. I am only guaranteed this moment. Yesterday's gone, be it good or bad. Tomorrow's uncertain. How can I capture this moment?

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Recipe of Life

A lot of love

A little kindness

Some understanding

And independence

Add some joy

Lots of laughter

A few mistakes

A few disasters

A lot of strength

Add some wisdom

And lessons learned

Add some patience

And hard knocks

Knead the dough

Let it rise

Add some warmth

Don't let it burn

Each life unique

The parts you choose

The seeds you sow

Make's your life

Your own

You are in charge of what you add to your life. You have a choice in how your life goes. Yes, life will throw you curves. Yes life will beat you about a bit. But how you choose to react is your choice. What will your life look like? Are you adding good things to the lives around you? What are you accepting from them?

It is your life.

Monday, June 13, 2011

Fill Your Shoes

Your shirt's too large

Your stride too long

You stand firm

I'm not that strong

You've made choices

You're usually right

I make mine

With you in sight

No ones perfect

Except for you

From what I see

My point of view

I try real hard

To make you proud

My voice gets lost

In the crowd

I try to live

The way you would

I try to do

The things I should

I make mistakes

And always lose

When I try

To fill your shoes

So I will follow

Close behind

Please understand

This life is mine

And though I walk

A different way

I still listen

To all you say

So when I stumble

And start to fall

Please remember

I feel small

Reach out your hand

And help me up

For what I need

Is just your love

I have been blessed to be a part of an incredible family. I have had the good fortune of knowing several fantastic people in my life. I have learned so much from all of these people. I look to them for inspiration and guidance. And there are times that I wish I could be more like any one of them. In fact, there have been times that I have tried to do things the way I think they would. Unfortunately, I usually fail when I try to be something I am not. I cannot possibly fill their shoes.

It is one thing to follow someone's example, it is something entirely different to walk in their shoes. When you try to walk in someone else's shoes, failure is almost guaranteed. We all have our own shoes, our own path, our own experiences. And chances are there are people looking to you and trying to fill your shoes. It would seem that each of us should walk our own path, fill our own shoes and reach out in love to those around us.